Big News

I lied about not much else going on.  The truth is that there's life going on, as in: life growing inside  me, as in: I'm going to have another baby!  Crazy, right?  My kids are 8 and just-about-5, and come winter time I'll have a newborn. 

I used to be dead-set against this idea; I was happy with two.  I got my body in good shape, transformed my inner life, and made some personal goals.  Motherhood was getting easier as the girls graduated toddlerhood and started school.  Life was good.  But then my mother-in-law passed away.  It was so terribly heart-breaking and sad.  Sitting in the funeral service I thought, Gee, big families are really nice, and I became open to the idea of making ours bigger. 

A few weeks ago, I left work for the day and absolutely had to have some chicken salad.  I was hungry, and I thought of chicken salad, and there was no stopping me.  I went to the grocery store,  bought a half pound, and ate the whole container.  I was talking on the phone with my sister at the time, and she asked, "Are you pregnant?" and I said, "Maybe. This is weird."  So two days later, on the last day of school, I went home and took a pregnancy test.  It showed an immediate positive. 

2012 has been about facing fears, and I can think of no bigger personal fear-facing challenge than being pregnant.  I do not like being pregnant for the headaches, nausea, and extreme fatigue that I'm experiencing.  And thinking about my last pregnancy and birth brings back painful memories.  So now, in these fearless times, I have an opportunity to trust, learn, accept support, and call on the wild feminine strength that I wasn't yet aware of five years ago. 

I'm already over eleven weeks into this.  The midwife gave me a due date of December 31st.  (So much for awareness--I was pregnant for two months without knowing it!)  We heard the heartbeat and saw a picture.  I'm already in love with the lil' peanut.  So that, dear readers, is what's really going on.