What I want is to have in life right now is 1) fun with my kids, 2) connection with my partner, 3) wonder at science as I study, and 4) good times with friends. I have all those things, and I am so thankful for it--it's just all the shitty extra stuff I don't want. Life is never that simple.

1) My kids have been SO happy lately, so much fun. In the past month, my oldest, in particular, has been so full of joy, bringing me so much joy. She is constantly creating things or riding her bike on mini adventures. My baby is chatting away these days, and running around the room singing "Let It Go" repeatedly. My middle has so much love in her heart, regularly expressing it with cards or pictures or journal entries. They are wonderful. I've had a fresh dose of missing them every day they're not here with me. For the most part, joint custody works out great, giving me the breaks that I need as a student and individual. And, if you don't know, I've got this other kid in my life now, a three-year-old boy who is crazy as all get out and will hide behind trees with me and jump out to surprise his mom till the sun goes down. Fun with kids!

2) I've been in a relationship with Kayla for over a year now and moved in with her a few months ago. I enjoy her so much. At the end of our crazy days, it's just me and her. She's not my "girlfriend" or my "paramore" as some have said; she's my partner in every way, and I can't say enough about how good it feels to be in a true partnership with mutual respect and admiration and helpfulness. Plus we have these awesome matching tattoos.

3) This semester I'm taking Microbiology and Organic Chemistry, my final prerequisites for the nursing program. Being a nurse is still this faraway thing, this vague goal that I can't feel right now. But I trust it's coming--a career in which I get to tend to people in such a practical way. In just a few years, I'll be sporting scrubs and stories from the bedside. For now, I get to marvel at the way carbon joins with hydrogen in all these configurations and at the realization that there are bajillions of microscopic organisms all over the place--all this life we can't even see! This world is fascinating!

4) I have not been at a loss for friendships. I've got old friends and new friends to share dinner with, or a movie or brunch or kayaking or a chat at the bus stop or whatever. That be a blessin', y'all.

5) Shitty extra stuff, mainly shitty ex- stuff. Ugh, that guy.