Having a baby, moving, and getting a divorce sure put a blog on the back burner. Need some tending, blog dear? A stir? A dash of salt?
I've officially been divorced for over a month. I have an ex-husband now--how grown up of me. It was a transformative moment when the judge pronounced, "I shall restore to you your name." I got my name back, and you bet your sweet bippy I got my Self back. Stifled for so long! Undervalued and uncared for. This is Act II. I get to create--from the pain, disappointment, and anger--something new, authentic, and joyful. I have created a living space that fits that description. I'm gaining my strength back, physically and in other ways. Running again. Journaling as usual. I've been feeling what I feel, noting what I feel, and starting to heal. I'm using my divorce as a spiritual journey. The feelings and circumstances surrounding it are here to REAWAKEN me. The process I'm going through is a holy one, divinely inspired to bring about a positive change in my life. My pain is a sacred emotion, allowing me to discover who I really am and go places I would not go on my own! If not for this divorce, I would not be able to go where I'm going, on this spiritual journey to a nourishing life.
I borrowed those last phrases from Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford. I picked it up randomly from the library, and I totally dig it. It's a challenge though, full of "healing actions." The first step on my journey is to actively deal & heal. I'm no good to my self, my kids, or anyone else if I skip this step. Of course I'll be dealing & healing in different ways my whole life, but for now it's the primary focus. Step two? Get on an airplane? There are so many steps to look forward to, but I won't get tripped up on those now. One by one to feel five by five.
