2015

There are only about 8 hours left in 2015. I want to reflect on the year before heading out to ring in the new one. I'm using this article as a guide, making some lists and writing some letters.

Accomplishments:
- I got accepted into the highly competitive nursing program at KSU.
- I began the nursing program at KSU.
-I learned a ton and got straight A's my first semester of nursing school.
-I kept my children in my (superior) school district after a long battle over it with their dad.
-I created/achieved healthier and safer boundaries for my children in our joint custody situation.
-I bravely engaged in some difficult conversations.
-I made a number of new friends, including one former enemy.
-We started the "marble system" with tasks and rewards for the kids, and family meetings to talk about areas of growth as "thoughtful earthlings." They have grown so much.
-We transformed our yard into a pretty cool place to hang out.
-I planned a kickass surprise party with many close friends and family members in attendance and ASKED KAYLA TO MARRY ME.
-She said, "Yes, of course," so I am engaged!
-I got at least 300 compliments on my hair.

Disappointments or Setbacks:
-The lawsuit my ex filed against me in June 2014 is Still. Not. Over.
-I suddenly had a hip injury and nerve problems, and I was in pain and limping for over a month.
-The lavender I planted did not survive.
-I did not play basketball as often as I wanted to.
-Some people close to me caused me a great deal of hurt/stress.

Lessons learned from setbacks:
-When I feel weak, it might be that I'm actually stronger, just carrying more.
-My ex is a deeply broken person, and I will never know the extent of his dishonesty.
-My losses are not as terrible as they first feel.
-I need to strengthen my core.
-Stretching and hydrating work wonders.
-Lavender needs more sun.
-Dynamics change, and that's okay. Don't try to get back to how things were, but create a new normal.
-Let go, let go, let go!

Now that I've made these lists, I will write and burn a few letters as an act of forgiveness, gratitude, and letting go of past hurt. Thank you, 2015, for more growth and memories. Peace out!